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Hand and Associates Learning and Mediation Services

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Don't Agitate - Mediate!

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2019: Life Is Upon Us

Posted on January 23, 2019 at 10:16 AM Comments comments (670)
Good tidings - blogger friends and followers; It has been a while since I have written.  Call it writer's block or lack of interest but in reality it is/was simply life.  You may have seen the commercial where the guy learns about free delivery for his online order and he delights in his response as "game changer", that has been me for the last 24 months.  Game changing/Life changing events.

The first of my Life changing events began with my retirement from a 16 year job with the National Education Association with total union work of 27 years.  Second, after 25 years of being in the same home, my husband and I decided to move to a new house. Now, the federal government's ridiculous, self serving shutdown adds new anxiety to a life adjusting journey one is is still becoming accustom to. 

So, in the days and weeks to come, I will do better about sharing my thoughts and ideas.  Appreciate all your feedback on past blogs and your encouragement to share more.  Here's to moving forward and to keepin it real!!  


Posted on January 8, 2017 at 1:07 PM Comments comments (68)
What a whirlwind year 2016 was!!  Now we are embarking on 2017 with lots of newness in mind.  With a new national leader - there is much anticipated thought about how folks as a whole will respect and treat one another.  How will Social Justice issues take a front and center position within a potential new national lens of less tolerance and more polarized thinking?

I am hopeful, though, that the basic humaneness of the citizenry will not answer this call of divisiveness and intolerance, but rather make the change to more independent thinking, acceptance and thoughtfulness to not only rebuild self but also one's fellow man, woman and most importantly our youth.

From a more personal perspective, I am approaching my 60th year in this universe.  I marvel with what i have been blessed to show for it.  Personally,I am proud to say there are my spouse, children and grandchild.  On the professional level, a work tenure that has paid off in retirement.  The business side, creating new opportunities to share knowledge and skills with potential clients who have a need to settle their disputes civilly; and/or to facilitate those who wish to enhance their learning journeys.  This new path upon which I have set foot has become openly available to unlimited options for sharing, service and stimulating creativity. 

I am looking forward to what the nation and the world have to offer.  I look to build new relationships, nurture current ones and do my humble best to make the business and the community I represent, ones that promote acceptance and justice for all in the year 2017 and beyond. 

Another Year Another Season

Posted on October 31, 2015 at 6:15 PM Comments comments (199)
Bru is soon to be a year older- oh wow what a blessing!! So much has happened to make another year a tremendous accomplishment.  Lessons learned; people discerned. I am in awe of offspring return to the basics of parenting.  Impressive and honorable.  Makes me feel that my advancement in years has paid massive dividends - at least it seems as such.

What is next in this advancement of a year - one looks to settle in and settle down with a better half observing life and years pass by with dignity and comfort. Yep, another year and what does one show for it - love, contentment and best of all satisfaction thru those years past?  Not looking back, but rather, forward with peace and happiness.  This is the life I anticipate and long to experience ahead.

Are there ones of you who agree?  Then join me to be me, you and who we are and will eventually be.  I can hardly wait - what richness to take into another year another season!     

How does one handle being a "fallen hero"?

Posted on April 26, 2015 at 12:00 PM Comments comments (39)
I recently met a gentleman who experienced what he called "fallen hero syndrome".  Being clueless about his dilemma,  i inquired "whatever, sir, might that be? " The gentleman, went on to explain that he had in essence fallen from the good graces of those in his "circle of life" who considered him their hero!!!!  This gentleman expressed that although the hero status was not one he voluntarily sought - his colleagues as their leader, his children and spouse as their role model became distraught, disappointed and discouraged when he dishonored himself and by association, them, from the high esteem held and stature bestowed on him. 

What a bummer! I thought.  How does one get to that position in life's order of things?  While not something the gentle man aspired to be - it was a position he had acquired and in looking back - inherently owned.  As the gentleman reported his story of his immoral crimes imparted - there was clearly a sense of remorse and sadness in his eyes for those he hurt and as a result pathetically lost his "heroism" status in a rather spiraling decent. 

I am reminded of an episode from MASH - the World War Two comedy series about a mobile hospital unit for the war wounded.  In this particular episode, Radar O'reilly the Corporal genius who logistically ran the unit - became enraged with Hawk eye - a brilliant, yet mischievous surgeon who often saved the lives of many soldiers and was Radar's hero.  This day Hawk eye went into the operating room drunk and almost cost the lives of others and that of Radar who become wounded from mortar fire.  Radar refused to speak to Hawk eye and yet chastised him for his drunken behavior.  Radar states, " a lot of people look up to you - I look up to you!!"   Hawk eye's response to Radar in a fit of emotion between the two - "how dare you act this way, how dare you feel this way?  I did not ask for this and I did not ask for your high regard of me..." 

From this recollection - I could more clearly understand and empathize with the gentle man's feeling of guilt yet remorse for hurting those who so fervently placed him on that heroic pedastal.  I believe though, like Hawk eye, he wanted those who placed him in this position to remember, that he is only human and because of that, he too will and should be able to "make mistakes"!!!   So, I asked my gentleman friend, is your fallen hero syndrome fixable?  He simply answered that while the actions may be forgiven or even forgotten, re ascension to that plateau of trust and high regard may never be the same.  How does one deal with that piece of realism?  One can only hope that the people who placed him there can see it in their hearts and minds to give him a chance to just be himself - fallible, but at the core of who he is - the same person who cares about and loves them as much if not more.  Kinda makes that bible verse even more relevant - "he without sin - cast the first stone."  I wish my gentle man friend the very best!!!!!


Posted on November 4, 2014 at 4:09 PM Comments comments (30)
The best laid plans….often go astray - so the saying goes.  No matter how much dutifully one makes plans you should always be prepared to plan and replan again.    Such is life in this ever changing unpredictable world community in which we live.  I try not to become too frustrated or disappointed in those uncontrollable mishaps but as they say… just bare it.  Not so sure I can do the grin anymore.  

There is still a bright spot in my life - that of my offspring and their offspring who are at least a hope that my disappointments don't necessarily have to be theirs.  Be it an election, a relationship, a job or that ideal vacation there comes a time when you either make the best of a situation or be shut down with/by the disapoinment.  

Not meaning/wanting to moan today, but rather needed a release.  For those of you who do me the honor of reading my random ramblings - feel free to share how you handle the plan and replan saga to make it htrough the day, week or a lifetime.  Be well and trust you are doing your civic duty today to help keep this society in which we live, afloat!!!  peace


Posted on August 17, 2014 at 11:24 AM Comments comments (32)
The need for tolerance, understanding and sensitivity is at a critical point in our society and world right now - this very minute!!! Such is the illustration of events in Ferguson, MO, the status of our political acumen, the middle east and across this world in general.  How is it that we as a people refuse to learn from all the violence and unrest that besieged our citizenry and society to yet repeat over again and again?  

Why is it that people of color and those economically challenged must relive the experience of insensitivity by those with privilege and obsessive power?  When can we just say enough already - stop the madness and dammit leave us alone!!  The abuse of power and blatant disrespect of fellow human beings is extremely disheartening 50-plus years after so many activists in our country fought and died for simple equity and equality of life and its opportunities.  When do we reach a point where differences in race, gender, religion or orientation not be a measurement by which I or people like me are judged and/or are mistreated because of them.    

The strides and accomplishments made have been great - yet the irreverence of intolerance by still so many does tend to overshadow those accomplishments.  This is why sensitivity, respect for life and open/genuine dialogue must and has to be practiced as a norm/on the regular.  It is the least we can/should do for the generations of young people who did not experience our past pain to yet now have to experience it in this new world that we are living.  Changed behavior is about learning from our past mistakes - like the saying goes - when will we ever learn???

truly peace   

Just Another Routine

Posted on June 28, 2014 at 9:22 AM Comments comments (138)
Every morning I get up and squeeze into a white steel box - it has windows although they do not open.  It has ventilation, but often uncomfortably maintained by the person operating the big white container.  Then my fellow riders and I zoom off to a our respective locations 100 miles north to "earn the bacon" in order to maintain the life styles to which we have become accustom and fto provide food on the tables and other necessities for our families and loved ones.

Such is the life of a daily commuter.  People often are in awe of us being able to do such a such a thing on top of putting in the daily 8 hours of performing one's job responsibilities.  There is a light at the end of that tunnel - albeit maybe 10, 15, or 20 years down the road - RETIREMENT!!! I am on year 13 and yet it does yet feel like just year 1.  After you adjust to the routine - what the heck - the rest is just that "routine".  

We all have out routines and this is just another to add to the mix.  I would invite you to join me sometime on my white steel box quest which like the mail person - experiencing rain, sleet, snow or sweltering heat - I and my commuter cohort do what we have to do to make the long ride bearable and doable to maintain each other's spirits for 200 miles and four hours of daily routine.  Therefore, when we reach that reitement light at the end of the commuter tunnel - we can congratulate each other and say "we'll miss you, but well done"!!!


Someone New!!

Posted on June 28, 2014 at 8:57 AM Comments comments (20)
I realize it has been a while since submitting this page - but I do have a good reason. Just recently, we became proud grandparents of a lovely healthy baby girl - Lily Jade.  Wow, jsut when you thought nothing or no one else could bring such pride and happiness to your life then along comes "baby girl"!!!  For all the other grands out there - I know this is nothing new - but it is new and special for me.  Was not sure I was ready for the "grandpa" status but like my grey hair - it is one of those things in life one has to accept and appreciate as another  blessing from the creator above!  

I am happy our daughter has bounced back quickly and is already being back on the job.  Young people these days!!!!   Anyway just in case you were wondering where is this guy??   This guy is relearning about babies and getting the place ready for little Lily's first visit to papa D sometime in the fall.  I'll keep you posted!!

Maintaining a Stand for Tolerance

Posted on March 7, 2014 at 2:14 PM Comments comments (103)
So what's it all about - Alfie???  Lots of positive social justice in the news-yet intolerance is still alive, well and running a muck!!!  

Thanks readers for all the thoughtful comments you have posted about this continuing blog.  You are very kind and I do appreciate you checking me out.

The latest rant if you will is about Arizona law makers who took it upon themselves to decide businesses could actually say in 2014 - customers will not be served by us because our values/religion disagree with "who you love", "who the almighty made you to be" and even though you bring with you a healthy economic base - we in essence do not want your business or your presence in our public space to serve!!! Dayum!  How bold and elitist is that???  I bet some of those same places will allow customers to enter with their pets - but I as a paying respectable customer because of what I do in my private life you will refuse to serve me???  Is there a survey on the menu that I would need to answer first before being served?  Or do I wear a Scarlet F on my chest so that you can see me coming!!!

What is really up with people these days?  A practice of tolerance and cultural sensitivity has taken a back seat by some (certainly not all) that then demands attention to the fact they would even make the consideration?  

Sports though has taken a new attitude for tolerance - to this I say good for public recognition.  As one may realize though, it is just as much about economics and public opinion as it is about being tolerant and understanding within the industry.  Yet, such an uproar about the Olympics and how appalled we were about a foreign leader not wanting a "gay" presence to politically upset the games.  The same sort of questions might be asked on how accepting we shall be within our country regarding the "Gay Games" being held in the Cleveland, OH this summer.    How will we show our support there?  They too may be experiencing some fundamental push back from the "good ole" fundamentalists!!!   To provide positive support, one certainly does not have to venture across the water or several continents to demonstrate one's support - lesson learned in Arizona -  Like they say if you do it there, you can do it anywhere.   

Moving us forward 



Posted on January 1, 2014 at 1:53 PM Comments comments (123)
This past sunday - I missed mass due to the weather, so why not take the opportunity to watch it on television?  As unusual and uneventful as this might seem - it soon turned into a disappointment and most distasteful experience.  The theme of this week's sermon revolved around "family" and Marriage - marriage of the "traditional sort"!  Hmm, how alarming when this "man of the cloth" began to pontificate and singularly define family and marriage to his congregants and television audience.   His proclaimed definition that only allowed for one perspective and a total disregard of what is trending in today's society across boundaries and cultures. 

Even though I know people like him exist, and of course, they are welcome to their views and comments - on this particular day, such commentary, while supported by the "good book" and other unidentified not so good books - actually disrupted my day.  Throughout this day - I felt troubled and found his haunting commentary to be hurtful and ludicrous!!!  It was hard to fathom that someone who was supposed to represent tolerance - speak so vehemently against it!!!

Gosh darn it!!!  I hope that today's non traditional/more open swing of society's pendulum toward family and marriage will continue to swell as we enter a new year!!!  As long as people are willing to love one another and take care of each other - what they look like and who they do it with - really should not matter.  

Happy New Year